kid quotes

These were all posted on facebook, but I'm putting them here because I plan to save the content of the blog for my children to be horrified by on a regular basis someday:

One of those Geico commercials with the caveman came on TV.
Allison (laughing): Look at that guy with all the hair! He looks like Jerry Brown!
Me (laughing): who?
Allison: Jerry Brown!
John (laughing): And who's Jerry Brown?
Allison: You know, that new guy, the Governmentor!

The girls got one of those magic 8-balls with their prize tickets at chuck e cheese last night. Now they are using it to decide EVERYTHING.
Kate: "Should I brush my hair before school?"
Whew. The answer was yes

Kate pronounced kids' softball superior to professional hockey because softball games have a designated "snack mom".

Allison: "I want to have a house where everything is pink, outside and inside--even the beer bottles."

Kate, while asking about jails, after we mentioned that even some big kids go to jail:
"I bet they have to do a lot of worksheets there. All math."

Erin to cousin Andrew: where do you work?
Andrew: at a non-profit.
Erin: what's a non-profit?
Andrew: it's a business that, ah, doesn't make money.
Erin: Oh, you mean a newspaper?

Crossing a toll bridge:
Kate: what was that for?
Me: the MAN is tryin' to keep us down!
Allison: yeah...AGAIN!
John: that's right.
...Kate: is the MAN taking our money and wasting it?
John: yes. They gotta pay that guy to stand there and take our money, for example.
Allison: I really don't get why they do that.
John: either do we.

Allison: "I didn't call Kate dumb. I said 'd-o-m' as in, the end of 'freedom' ".

John to kids, "what should mama get for Christmas?" Allison: "Just 100% cash."